Self love is quite the talk of town these days and everybody brags about it or is focusing on to adopt as a way of living life. “You need to love yourself” “First love yourself, the rest will come accordingly” “Why don’t you stop caring about people so much and start loving yourself first?!” and statements like these. We get to hear a lot like this now.
But what is self love? Is buying yourself the stuff you love like that new make-up kit counts as self love? Or the new set of clothing makes you happy and you love yourself by doing so? Or simply by doing something you like to do is actually self loving? No. A big NO!
Basically self love means to prioritize you-self in every matter and aspect of life. To feel happy about yourself – to actually celebrate your existence on a daily basis. That is what self love actually demands.
Self love is to feel comfortable in your own zone that you do not need people to make you feel good about yourself or to make you happy. It is a state of appreciation for oneself, no matter what you do or how you perceive things going in your life.
For instance, you know yourself – what kind of a person you are and what makes you happy and what’s not. First off you need to know the REAL YOU. Then make a list of things that does not make you happy or comfortable or you just do not feel right doing.
People that you do not like hanging out with. Or a person that doesn’t make you feel right about yourself. Friends that does not support you when you really need their support or friends that doesn’t stand with you when you are not doing your best in life.
Here are a few things you can do to feel better about yourself and genuinely love yourself.
#1 Focus on the good things about life:
Stop looking at people that are not good for yourself being and stop focusing on the negative side of everything that happens. Focus on the brighter side of the picture and know that you can do whatever you make yourself determined about.
#2 Set boundaries:
Set boundaries for your wellbeing. Not everybody is worthy of being your friend or your closer one. Not just people but also work and activities that you do on a regular basis. Things, work, people that drain your energy and positivity are not worth keeping or holding onto.
#3 Focus on what you need rather than what you want:
Life is too short to live in negligence and denial. People come, people go. Stop focusing on short term goals and adventures. Start thinking big and focus on the things and commitments that will serve you in the long run and are not temporary. By staying focused on what you need, you turn your back on things and people that does not serve your purpose and long term goals.
#4 Forgive yourself:
Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and stop being so hard on yourself. Haven’t met that deadline? Try again. Didn’t clear that test? Try again. Couldn’t make it to your best friend’s wedding because of work commitment? Explain and make it up to her/him. Just do no kill yourself for things that are not in your control.
#5 Become mindful:
Stay focused and know what you really need. People who have more self love and respect themselves know what they want, feel and think. They are mindful of who they are and know what they need to become and do not focus on what other think of them.
That’s it for now.